While March now seems like a four-letter word, it’s impossible to go through this month without reflecting on the past 12 months in a pandemic we (apart from the Dr. Faucis of the world) could never have imagined. It goes without saying the fear and uncertainty that strained us all in those first few months was palpable, but a year later, I–like many–am assessing what has come out of this tumultuous time.
Expectation #1 – I’ll have more time to read.
Without the hustle and bustle of work events, group workouts, social engagements, and art and cultural activities, it makes logical sense there would be a glorious window of time opened up to dedicate to savoring a good book. Losing yourself in the pages of a powerful journey in a world so far from your own, or the triumph of a real leader’s path to success, can not only entertain, but one you can really lose yourself in.
Reality #1 – I’ve read precisely three books in the past 12 months.
Turns out, even with a completely wiped social calendar, I have not magically become better at sitting still. And while “losing yourself” in a book can be a magical experience, the constant worries and stresses of pandemic life can make dedicating your time and attention to any one activity for an extended period of time feel like you’ve Benjamin Buttoned yourself back to being a toddler. So between the self-empowering advice book from Rachel Hollis, Girl, Wash Your Face, to the decades-long journey to love between best friends in One Day, to John Irving’s novel The Cider House Rules, I feel I at least tackled a tiny bit of range in my very limited repertoire. I’m hoping to apply my highly practiced skill of binge-watching a YA series in 48 hours to devouring the rest of Olympian and actress Alexi Pappas’ captivating memoir Bravey.
Expectation #2 – I’ll get super fit.
Before the pandemic hit, I was arguably at my fittest, having run my first marathon in the fall of 2019 and towards the end of a training cycle for my first half marathon of 2020. With weekly speed sessions and long runs, I was thoroughly enjoying the process and had probably a dozen races on the calendar. When everything started to get canceled, I felt grateful my chosen sport was “not canceled” and I could continue to train and hit my goals, albeit in an altered manner.
Reality #2 – Exercise will have more value mentally than practically.
While I’ve run consistently throughout the whole pandemic, there was certainly a period of time where I couldn’t make it .25 mile without stopping for a panic break, which turns out not to be beneficial for cardio fitness or speed. And while I have been blown away by the amazing athletes who have run virtual races and loved cheering on (from a distance) the runners tackling solo Boston and New York marathons in NYC this fall, I found I need the full package. I need the aid stations. The fans with funny signs. The pacers who keep me from going full throttle in the first mile. Getting out of the apartment once a day and getting fresh air (even during the winter) has mentally been a saving grace for me.
Expectation #3 – I’ll learn a new skill or language.
While I always wanted to spend more time on personal and creative growth, I did tend to always find reasons to be “too busy” for these kinds of things in pre-pandemic life. And with everyone diving face first into the distance learning environment, platforms and programs are more optimized than ever.
Reality #3 – I will reach the depths of Netflix binge-watching.
From the ill-advised early pandemic consumption of “Containment” to all three seasons of “Designated Survivor,” I certainly did not take this period of time to immerse myself in only the top echelon of the arts. Watching easy–and at times “guilty pleasure”–entertainment provided a sense of relief and distraction when the news was anything but. Sure, I could have knocked out the top 100 films of all time, or learned how to speak German, but then I would have never had the lingering question of whether Carole Baskin is a full blown basketcase (and murderer) or immensely talented actress randomly pop into my head.
Expectation #4 – I’ll become a master chef.
Without the rushing that was an everyday factor of urban life, I wouldn’t say I really “cooked” very much, although I didn’t dine out or order in much either. I’d say I was more of a “preparer”: cooking up batches of chicken and piecemealing it into boring but yummy dishes throughout the week. And yes, with lots of repetition.
Reality #4 – Same tacos. Every Tuesday.
While the closure of dining meant home cooking was a mandate, it certainly wasn’t something I mastered offhand. Early on I would dig through recipes and create intricate meals that would honestly create more stress than provide relief. Though I now use Hello Fresh to help streamline both the process and the creativity, I quickly got into a more expanded repertoire of the same number of meals. While I have held firm on the sanctity of Taco Tuesday each week, the same tortillas, shredded lettuce, salsa, shredded chicken and sauce haven’t exactly added any extra spice to my culinary routine.
Expectation #5 – I’ll be bored out of my mind.
In March 2020, a small part of my initial panic was tied to the fact I consider myself really bad at doing nothing. The thought of doing nothing all day would not only bewilder me but it would freak me out. I prided myself on being able to fit in as much as possible each day, checking off the workout, work and social boxes with maximum efficiency. Without being able to travel, see my friends and family, or go to work and cultural functions, I was sure I would go mad with boredom within the first few weeks.
Reality #5 – There really is value in a rest.
Turns out I could slow down and not spontaneously combust–whudda thunk? Having the time to actually take stock of my life and the people and opportunities I am lucky enough to have has added a refreshing level of perspective to my day-to-day. I can now appreciate the value of a Saturday where my only accomplishments are a run, Zoom call with friends and a home cooked meal. Don’t get me wrong–I’m ready to get back to hanging out with friends, hugging family and seeing plays (OMG LIVE THEATER), but I think I’ll do so with more regular moments of rest built in.